Grief breaks all the rules 

 

​Grief can be an overwhelming and isolating experience. The painful weight of losing a spouse, child, parent, loved one, or beloved pet can feel crushing at times. It is common to feel shock, anger, sadness, guilt, or anxiety following the death of a loved one. Some people even feel numb and out of touch with their emotions. Others experience despair and start to believe that they can never be happy again. Living with and managing all of these emotions can sometimes become overwhelming. 

 

We all grieve differently - in our own ways and in our own time

 

We can experience grief in many different ways - emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually. It is easy to get caught up in comparing our own grief process to that those around us, and this can cause us to feel even more isolated and alone. We might feel as if we can't grieve openly around our family or friends because they are grieving, too. Grief counseling doesn't try to speed up the grieving process or tell you how to feel. Instead, grief therapy offers you a supportive, nonjudgemental  space to explore and process your distressing and confusing emotions. It helps you better understand the grieving process, cope with your complicated feelings, and make the choices necessary to move forward in your life.

 

The "stages of grief" are not a roadmap for grieving ​

 

You may have heard about the 5 Stages of Grief described by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in 1969. These stages - denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance - are not a lockstep instruction manual of the grief process. Some people do move through all of these stages in order, but others get stuck in one stage. Some people will start to progress through the stages only to fall back to earlier stages over and over again. Other people don't even start to feel the effects of grief for weeks or months after the loss occurs. The 5 Stages of Grief don't map out exactly how everyone grieves. Instead, they are a helpful reference for us to understand some of the natural feelings we experience after the death of a loved one. If you are feeling stuck in your grief process or need some extra support to cope with your feelings, grief counseling can help. 

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How can grief counseling help? 

 

Grief counseling offers you the space to process your thoughts and feelings in an understanding, supportive, and nonjudgmental environment. Grief counseling will also help you accomplish what we call Worden's Four Tasks of Mourning. These tasks help us understand how people gradually move through the grief process and begin to heal. The tasks don't have to be done in any specific order, and it's common for people to go back and forth from one task to another over time. 

 

The Four Tasks of Mourning Are: 

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• To Accept the Reality of the Loss. Even though you know intellectually that your loved one has passed, you may sometimes feel a sense of disbelief. This sense of disbelief may come and go, resurfacing at certain times of the year or when occasions come up that your loved one would have been a part of. 

• To Process the Pain of Grief. Grief is experienced in many levels - emotionally, cognitively, physically, and spiritually. While some people in your life may be telling you to "get over it" or "it's time to move on," grief counseling encourages and facilitates the safe expression of your reactions to grief. 

• To Adjust to a World without Your Loved One. Losing a loved one often requires us to make external, internal, and spiritual adjustments. External adjustments might require you to learn new skills, adjust to new routines, or take on new responsibilities. Internal adjustments involve adapting to your new identity. Spiritual adjustments include exploring questions about your belief system or the meaning of life. 

• To Find an Enduring Connection with Your Lost Loved One while Embarking on a New Life.  As you move through the grief process, you will gradually start to find a balance between remembering the loved one who died and living a full and meaningful life. 

 

These tasks may seem overwhelming or impossible right now. Grief can be a gradual process, and you don't have to rush to check tasks off your list. Grief counseling will help you move through this process in your own way and in your own time.

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If you'd like support to work through your grief... 

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I'd be honored to help. Deciding to start therapy is an important step toward feeling better. Use the scheduling tool below to schedule your first appointment today.